1 00:00:09,283 --> 00:00:11,911 Top? Zara. Skirt is Miu Miu. 2 00:00:11,994 --> 00:00:14,872 Necklace? Well, it is a long story 3 00:00:14,956 --> 00:00:16,791 involving Gigi Hadid in a Burger King. 4 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:20,002 Oh, yeah. Don't stop. Don't stop. 5 00:00:20,419 --> 00:00:21,462 Oh, come on. 6 00:00:21,546 --> 00:00:23,381 I mean, no one needs to groan like that. 7 00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:25,383 Leight, I'm just gonna say it, 8 00:00:25,466 --> 00:00:26,801 this video you're making is embarrassing, 9 00:00:26,884 --> 00:00:28,511 not just for you, but for all of us. 10 00:00:28,594 --> 00:00:32,557 Excuse me, fit-vids are a vital part of the Kappa rush process. 11 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,684 If I can't come up with fun and flirty content, 12 00:00:34,767 --> 00:00:35,893 I might as well be a Pi Phi. 13 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,521 - Is that a bad thing? - I'd rather drown myself. 14 00:00:38,855 --> 00:00:40,523 Oh, okay. I'll text Jackson. 15 00:00:40,606 --> 00:00:42,066 Ask him what position he was doing. 16 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,317 It sounded like Reverse Cat Dog. 17 00:00:43,401 --> 00:00:44,986 What the hell is Reverse Cat Dog? 18 00:00:45,069 --> 00:00:46,988 Whitney, you'd love it. I'll send you a link. 19 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:48,906 Here. You're on fan duty now. 20 00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:50,116 Wait, where are you going? 21 00:00:50,199 --> 00:00:52,618 I'm off to the loan office to tell them I lost my co-signer. 22 00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:53,786 - Oof. - Sorry, girl. 23 00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:54,996 But I'm feeling hopeful. 24 00:00:55,079 --> 00:00:57,206 I even found a heads-up penny on the street today. 25 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,708 It was next to a dead pigeon, but still. 26 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:01,544 All right. Well, looks like our neighbors got the message. 27 00:01:01,627 --> 00:01:03,087 So, let's go, ladies. 28 00:01:03,170 --> 00:01:04,297 Good luck. 29 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,216 Top? Zara. Skirt� 30 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,885 Seriously? 31 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:12,138 Hey, guys, Bela here. Big fan of your work. 32 00:01:12,221 --> 00:01:13,347 - Should we move? - Oh, my God! 33 00:01:26,527 --> 00:01:28,529 Bela, is your resistance at a zero? 34 00:01:28,613 --> 00:01:31,157 I'm not here to work out. I'm here to look at the crew team lift. 35 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,825 They're so shredded and tall. 36 00:01:32,909 --> 00:01:35,536 It's like looking at a bunch of hot muscle-y skyscrapers. 37 00:01:37,079 --> 00:01:38,956 Hey, so, are you still taking that Biochem class? 38 00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:41,500 Yeah, ugh, kill me. Why? 39 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,920 Because you and I are about to do some bonding. 40 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,923 Ionic bonding. Wazzup, classmate? 41 00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:49,508 Why are you taking Biochem? 42 00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:51,344 It's one of the hardest classes on campus. 43 00:01:51,427 --> 00:01:53,804 I'm literally only taking it because my parents are making me. 44 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:57,642 I wanna challenge myself. Expand my interests, see what I'm good at. 45 00:01:58,142 --> 00:02:00,186 Stop. No more nerdy science talk. 46 00:02:00,269 --> 00:02:02,355 The crew team is coming. Look hot. Stick your tits out. 47 00:02:12,573 --> 00:02:14,617 What's up? I saw you watching us. 48 00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:17,578 "Us" meaning� Are you with the crew team? 49 00:02:17,662 --> 00:02:19,288 But aren't you, like, short? 50 00:02:19,872 --> 00:02:21,791 Yeah. I'm the Coxswain. 51 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,751 I make sure the boat finishes first. 52 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:25,961 I could do the same for you. 53 00:02:27,463 --> 00:02:28,506 See you around. 54 00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:33,344 Holy shit. 55 00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:42,395 At first I was disappointed but then I thought, don't stress. 56 00:02:42,478 --> 00:02:44,271 You and Taylor will put your heads together, 57 00:02:44,355 --> 00:02:45,689 brainstorm other options. 58 00:02:45,773 --> 00:02:48,818 Kimberly, I love a brainstorm. 59 00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:50,361 You should see my wedding Pinterest board. 60 00:02:51,112 --> 00:02:54,990 That said, the only thing this office can offer you is a loan. 61 00:02:55,574 --> 00:02:58,577 Right. Are there any grants I can apply for? 62 00:02:58,661 --> 00:03:01,080 Or how long would I have to serve in the military to pay for this? 63 00:03:01,163 --> 00:03:02,581 I can do a push-up if I'm on my knees. 64 00:03:03,707 --> 00:03:05,000 You want my honest advice? 65 00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,128 Yes. Just tell me what to do and I will do it. 66 00:03:08,212 --> 00:03:09,839 Get the best grades you can. 67 00:03:10,714 --> 00:03:13,634 It'll maximize your options for new schools you can transfer to. 68 00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:41,579 Hey, could you stop reading my phone screen? 69 00:03:41,662 --> 00:03:42,955 We're roommates. It's my right. 70 00:03:43,038 --> 00:03:45,082 Yeah, I'm kinda with Bela on this one. Spill it. 71 00:03:45,749 --> 00:03:48,586 Your phone is blowing up and I know they're from dating apps. 72 00:03:48,669 --> 00:03:49,712 Is it? 73 00:03:50,754 --> 00:03:52,047 - Okay, it is. - Yeah. 74 00:03:53,215 --> 00:03:55,467 I finally put a face pic up on my profile, 75 00:03:55,551 --> 00:03:58,596 and it seems that I have a face that people like to message. 76 00:03:58,679 --> 00:04:00,723 Oh, how many girls are you talking to? 77 00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:04,143 - I don't know, like, 30. - What? 78 00:04:04,226 --> 00:04:06,645 Damn, Leight. That's like two basketball teams. 79 00:04:07,021 --> 00:04:10,024 Look, I lived in the closet for, like, my entire life. 80 00:04:10,107 --> 00:04:12,735 I could never just approach someone out in the open as myself. 81 00:04:12,818 --> 00:04:16,155 So, now that I'm finally out, it's my turn to catch up. 82 00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:18,324 You never need to justify that to us. 83 00:04:18,407 --> 00:04:20,075 Agreed, I'd never slut-shame you. 84 00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:22,369 In fact, I'd only shame you for not being enough of a slut. 85 00:04:23,037 --> 00:04:25,581 Okay, calc is this way. I'm gonna see you guys later. 86 00:04:26,582 --> 00:04:28,542 Hey, get some hottie's number while you're in there. 87 00:04:54,735 --> 00:04:57,780 Biochemistry can be divided into three fields, 88 00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:01,951 structural biology, enzymology and metabolism. 89 00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:03,243 Hey, take my picture. 90 00:05:03,327 --> 00:05:04,411 Here? Why? 91 00:05:04,495 --> 00:05:06,497 I'm gonna send it to my parents to prove I'm in this class. 92 00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:09,958 But� Okay. Dude, I'm trying to focus. 93 00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:12,628 Damn, I look good. Maybe I'll send it to that crew guy. 94 00:05:12,711 --> 00:05:14,004 The short one from the gym? 95 00:05:14,088 --> 00:05:16,090 He followed me and his profile is kinda hot. 96 00:05:16,173 --> 00:05:18,175 I mean, look at his body. 97 00:05:18,258 --> 00:05:19,551 I mean his proportions are crazy. 98 00:05:19,635 --> 00:05:22,513 He's as wide as he is tall. He's like a hot muscle-y box. 99 00:05:22,596 --> 00:05:25,432 You're not wrong. He's like a sexy little mini fridge. 100 00:05:25,516 --> 00:05:27,101 Hey, can you shut up? 101 00:05:27,434 --> 00:05:28,477 I'm sorry. 102 00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:30,270 Is there an issue? 103 00:05:30,354 --> 00:05:32,314 I'm sorry, Professor, but I can't hear anything 104 00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,482 with them talking in the back. 105 00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:35,693 Ladies, I advise you to focus. 106 00:05:35,776 --> 00:05:38,237 Students who fall behind in this class rarely catch up. 107 00:05:38,821 --> 00:05:41,073 I wish we could just skip to the end of shopping period 108 00:05:41,156 --> 00:05:42,741 when half these people drop this class. 109 00:05:43,575 --> 00:05:45,327 God, can you believe that guy? 110 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:48,414 I know. It's like, I'll pay attention when the class actually starts. 111 00:05:49,373 --> 00:05:50,624 It started 30 minutes ago. 112 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,543 Shit. Do you have a pen? 113 00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:53,961 Shut up! 114 00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:07,933 Shit, sorry. 115 00:06:08,016 --> 00:06:09,518 It's all good. I think you dropped something. 116 00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,228 No, no, I� Sorry. 117 00:06:11,854 --> 00:06:14,273 It's just some random pamphlet I picked up as a goof. 118 00:06:14,773 --> 00:06:16,275 Whoa, hey, don't litter. 119 00:06:16,358 --> 00:06:17,985 Right. Yeah, I just had that thought. 120 00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:20,821 My name is Kimberly. I'm your neighbor. I'm not a litterer. 121 00:06:20,904 --> 00:06:21,989 Yeah, I know who you are. 122 00:06:22,072 --> 00:06:24,324 You leave your retainer in the bathroom sometimes. 123 00:06:24,741 --> 00:06:25,826 Right. Yes. 124 00:06:25,909 --> 00:06:28,704 Well, it was nice running into you and I'll see you around. 125 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,166 Wait. You're not taking Irish Lit, are you? 126 00:06:32,249 --> 00:06:33,500 Yeah. Is that surprising? 127 00:06:34,626 --> 00:06:38,672 I'm just not used to seeing people who look like you in a class like this. 128 00:06:38,755 --> 00:06:42,217 Well, yeah, it's gonna be really hard for me. I can't read. 129 00:06:42,718 --> 00:06:44,344 Okay. Very funny. I get it. 130 00:06:44,428 --> 00:06:45,971 This is the right building, right? 131 00:06:46,054 --> 00:06:47,389 That says Literature, doesn't it? 132 00:06:47,472 --> 00:06:48,515 Very funny. Let's go. 133 00:06:53,604 --> 00:06:55,355 He wants to call us out in class? 134 00:06:55,439 --> 00:06:57,941 We should be calling him out for being such a damn kiss-ass. 135 00:06:58,025 --> 00:06:59,568 He was such a Bio bro. 136 00:06:59,651 --> 00:07:00,694 That guy sounds like a jerk. 137 00:07:01,111 --> 00:07:03,780 But also, Biochem is really hard. Are you sure you wanna take that? 138 00:07:03,864 --> 00:07:06,533 I am not some token athlete who only takes easy classes. 139 00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:09,786 Okay. I mean, to date, have I done exactly that? Yes. 140 00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:11,038 But I'm switching it up. 141 00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:14,333 Wait, wait, wait, do you guys hear that? 142 00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:15,459 Is someone else in here? 143 00:07:18,378 --> 00:07:20,172 Leighton, are you in there with someone? 144 00:07:20,547 --> 00:07:21,632 Goddamn it. 145 00:07:24,927 --> 00:07:26,470 - That was fun. - Yeah. 146 00:07:26,553 --> 00:07:27,930 - I will call you later. - Okay. 147 00:07:28,388 --> 00:07:29,431 Bye. 148 00:07:31,433 --> 00:07:32,517 Stop looking at me like that. 149 00:07:32,601 --> 00:07:34,061 You had a girl in there? 150 00:07:34,144 --> 00:07:35,229 The whole time? 151 00:07:35,312 --> 00:07:36,813 Okay. I am an adult woman. 152 00:07:36,897 --> 00:07:39,524 I should be allowed to bring people back to my room without questions. 153 00:07:39,608 --> 00:07:42,235 Agreed. Except for the questions part. 154 00:07:42,319 --> 00:07:43,946 Did you do toy stuff, hand stuff? 155 00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:46,949 Did you use my bed? Because it is completely okay if you did. 156 00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:49,284 Okay. We're done here. I am going to dinner. 157 00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,828 It's build your own pasta bowl night. 158 00:07:51,912 --> 00:07:53,830 I love building my own pasta bowl. 159 00:07:54,331 --> 00:07:55,374 I built wrong. 160 00:07:55,457 --> 00:07:57,250 Yeah, you used teriyaki sauce. 161 00:07:57,334 --> 00:07:59,044 I saw someone do that on the Food Network once 162 00:07:59,127 --> 00:08:01,046 when I watched cable at a friend's house. 163 00:08:01,129 --> 00:08:03,507 Bela, are you still texting with the short guy from the gym? 164 00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:06,510 Wes? Yeah. He's a really sexy texter. 165 00:08:06,593 --> 00:08:08,804 He uses full sentences with punctuation. 166 00:08:08,887 --> 00:08:10,639 It's like, okay, write me a novel, daddy. 167 00:08:11,223 --> 00:08:12,432 Oh. 168 00:08:13,266 --> 00:08:14,434 What? What's wrong? 169 00:08:14,518 --> 00:08:15,686 He just wrote, "Have you thought about 170 00:08:15,769 --> 00:08:18,605 "the upside of fucking a guy two inches shorter than you?" 171 00:08:19,022 --> 00:08:20,107 What does that mean? 172 00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:22,109 It takes less time for his pants to hit the floor? 173 00:08:22,192 --> 00:08:24,361 Or maybe he's saying you'll be less cramped in a twin bed? 174 00:08:24,444 --> 00:08:26,947 Wait. Do you think he means the height of his dick, 175 00:08:27,030 --> 00:08:28,699 like, where it's at? 176 00:08:28,782 --> 00:08:31,410 Oh, my God, maybe. 177 00:08:31,493 --> 00:08:33,995 Hey, Kimberly, you're about as tall as him. Stand up. 178 00:08:34,079 --> 00:08:35,288 Wait, what do you want me to do? 179 00:08:35,372 --> 00:08:36,873 Just hold this at your crotch like a penis. 180 00:08:37,332 --> 00:08:39,042 - Bela, I don't wanna� - Now thrust. 181 00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:40,168 Thrust. 182 00:08:42,337 --> 00:08:43,672 He's right. Look. 183 00:08:43,755 --> 00:08:45,590 Yeah, that angle is, like, perfect. 184 00:08:45,674 --> 00:08:46,758 Can I stop? 185 00:08:46,842 --> 00:08:48,760 That's it. I'm gonna start eating in my room. 186 00:08:48,844 --> 00:08:51,513 Oh, my God. Y'all, it's official. I'm gonna fuck a short king. 187 00:08:51,596 --> 00:08:53,014 I also have some exciting news. 188 00:08:53,098 --> 00:08:54,599 I went to the Financial Aid office today 189 00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:56,184 and I think I found a way to stay at Essex. 190 00:08:56,268 --> 00:08:57,310 - Thank God. - That's great. 191 00:08:57,394 --> 00:08:58,603 - That's amazing. - How? 192 00:08:58,687 --> 00:08:59,938 I might sell my eggs. 193 00:09:01,398 --> 00:09:02,941 Wait, Kimberly, are you being serious? 194 00:09:03,024 --> 00:09:06,027 Yeah. Turns out I can make $80,000. That's crazy, right? 195 00:09:06,111 --> 00:09:07,320 Well, I love this for you. 196 00:09:07,404 --> 00:09:09,281 Celebrities buy smart-girl eggs all the time. 197 00:09:09,364 --> 00:09:11,575 You could be the female half of a famous baby. 198 00:09:11,658 --> 00:09:13,785 Isn't this like a major surgery? 199 00:09:13,869 --> 00:09:16,121 Lots of people do it all the time. It's super common. 200 00:09:16,204 --> 00:09:20,125 Also, I might be able to fix my problem with something that's in my body. 201 00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:21,710 That seems cool and, like, feminist. 202 00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:24,921 All right, but what happens when, 20 years from now, 203 00:09:25,005 --> 00:09:27,382 your hot personal trainer says, "I'm your son"? 204 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,176 Is that why he took the job? 205 00:09:29,259 --> 00:09:31,178 Oh, my God. You almost kissed your son. 206 00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:33,388 Okay. What if this is the only way Kimberly can stay here? 207 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:34,514 I mean, shouldn't she do it? 208 00:09:35,265 --> 00:09:38,477 I just think you should do some research so you know what you're getting into. 209 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,686 And if you do it 210 00:09:39,769 --> 00:09:42,022 and end up being the subject of a New York Magazine article 211 00:09:42,105 --> 00:09:45,859 that gets turned into a movie, I would love to write it for you. 212 00:09:53,408 --> 00:09:54,826 Hey, Mom, what a nice surprise. 213 00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,078 I love hearing your voice, baby. 214 00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:59,206 My assistant put you in my schedule to call, 215 00:09:59,289 --> 00:10:00,832 so this is me calling. 216 00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:03,335 You don't have to say that. You can just call. 217 00:10:03,418 --> 00:10:05,879 How's the new trimester going? 218 00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:07,589 Great. I'm taking a class 219 00:10:07,672 --> 00:10:09,674 I actually think you're gonna be pretty impressed with. 220 00:10:09,758 --> 00:10:10,842 Oh, yeah? 221 00:10:10,926 --> 00:10:12,510 Yeah. It's Biochem. 222 00:10:12,594 --> 00:10:14,971 It's super hard, and has one of the lowest pass rates on campus. 223 00:10:15,055 --> 00:10:17,098 - So I was thinking� - Well, why are you doing that? 224 00:10:17,974 --> 00:10:19,517 Uh, what? 225 00:10:19,601 --> 00:10:22,729 "Don't bite off more than you can chew." That's a saying for a reason. 226 00:10:22,812 --> 00:10:25,440 Uh, why does no one think I can handle this class? 227 00:10:25,523 --> 00:10:27,108 Do you think I'm, like, not smart or something? 228 00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:28,985 Of course I think you're smart. 229 00:10:29,069 --> 00:10:31,363 But it's not like you're going to become a chemist or a doctor. 230 00:10:31,446 --> 00:10:33,907 How do you know? What if I'm secretly brilliant at science? 231 00:10:33,990 --> 00:10:35,617 I could be the next, like, Bill Nye. 232 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,745 Honey, listen. Just take classes that will get you a good GPA 233 00:10:38,828 --> 00:10:40,330 and I'll get you hooked up somewhere. 234 00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:42,165 You wanna work for Obama? Easy. 235 00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:43,875 I'll find you something. 236 00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:45,961 Well, maybe I already found something. 237 00:10:46,044 --> 00:10:48,171 And maybe I'm gonna kick its ass. 238 00:10:55,095 --> 00:10:56,137 Anyone else but Andrew? 239 00:10:56,972 --> 00:10:58,014 Anyone? 240 00:10:58,473 --> 00:10:59,516 Whitney. 241 00:10:59,766 --> 00:11:00,892 Trigonal planar. 242 00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:02,018 Nice. 243 00:11:02,352 --> 00:11:03,645 Okay, now for an easy one. 244 00:11:50,483 --> 00:11:51,943 Damn, it's like we're a puzzle. 245 00:11:54,195 --> 00:11:55,655 Okay. Show me you can do it. 246 00:12:04,247 --> 00:12:05,373 Okay, hemoglobin. Go. 247 00:12:05,832 --> 00:12:07,333 Hemoglobin carries oxygen 248 00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:09,169 from the respiratory organs to the rest of the body. 249 00:12:09,252 --> 00:12:11,463 Correct. You're gonna kill this quiz tomorrow. 250 00:12:11,546 --> 00:12:14,048 I hope so. Honestly, Biochem is interesting. 251 00:12:14,132 --> 00:12:16,843 I love knowing why the stuff in our world is the way it is. 252 00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:18,970 It's such a rush to, like, learn stuff. 253 00:12:19,053 --> 00:12:20,138 I know, right? 254 00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:22,307 I always thought college was just what you had to do 255 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,434 before starting your life, but I get it now. 256 00:12:26,019 --> 00:12:27,479 Any more thoughts on the egg stuff? 257 00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:29,272 Lots. I made a pros and cons list. 258 00:12:30,565 --> 00:12:32,692 Oh, wow. You really got into the margins there, huh? 259 00:12:32,776 --> 00:12:34,944 Yeah, I mean, I knew this would be a difficult decision, 260 00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:36,696 but it's really overwhelming. 261 00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:38,281 Well, it is a really big deal. 262 00:12:38,364 --> 00:12:39,908 But I'm sure you'll figure out what's best. 263 00:12:39,991 --> 00:12:41,326 Thank you. 264 00:12:41,409 --> 00:12:43,620 Hey, what's with the ginger ale in the pros column? 265 00:12:43,703 --> 00:12:45,246 Ooh, I figure, after the surgery, 266 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,499 I'll be allowed to drink a lot of free hospital ginger ale. 267 00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:49,417 Oh. 268 00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:51,503 I guess that shouldn't factor into my decision. 269 00:12:55,965 --> 00:12:57,759 Bela, why are your pants so short? 270 00:12:57,842 --> 00:13:01,471 These cropped joggers are the full-length pants of the guy I've been boning. 271 00:13:02,055 --> 00:13:04,057 That's right. Another perk to fucking a short king. 272 00:13:04,140 --> 00:13:05,391 It's that good? 273 00:13:05,475 --> 00:13:07,769 It's everything. My girl Zendaya knows what's up. 274 00:13:07,852 --> 00:13:09,312 Shorter guys are where it's at. 275 00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:11,773 I'm so glad you have a nice connection with him. 276 00:13:11,856 --> 00:13:12,982 No, I'm talking about his dick. 277 00:13:13,066 --> 00:13:14,484 Scientifically superior. 278 00:13:14,567 --> 00:13:16,236 The blood flow is way more efficient in small guys. 279 00:13:16,319 --> 00:13:17,362 That actually makes sense. 280 00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,366 Leight, I ran into Anne on the quad and she said to say hi. 281 00:13:21,449 --> 00:13:22,700 Oh, no, don't talk to Anne. 282 00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:24,744 I ended things. She won't be coming back here. 283 00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:27,288 Aw. Anne was sweet. I liked that she brought cookies. 284 00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:29,415 See, I liked Claire and her hat game. 285 00:13:29,499 --> 00:13:30,583 Tough to pull off a flat brim. 286 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,835 Oh, my God, don't talk to Claire, either. 287 00:13:32,919 --> 00:13:35,004 I did see Claire yesterday and I did say hi. 288 00:13:35,088 --> 00:13:37,298 No. No. Why would you do that? 289 00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:38,716 So you're not dating Claire or Anne? 290 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,051 I'm not dating anyone. 291 00:13:40,593 --> 00:13:41,803 Sorry, it's tough to keep up. 292 00:13:42,887 --> 00:13:45,807 Okay. I can't believe I'm saying this, but, fine, 293 00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:49,686 I will update you on some details of my recent hookups. 294 00:13:49,769 --> 00:13:52,105 - Okay. - I have been praying for this. 295 00:13:52,188 --> 00:13:55,108 Yes. But pay attention because I am never doing this again. 296 00:13:55,191 --> 00:13:56,234 Here's the line-up. 297 00:13:56,317 --> 00:13:57,443 I'm gonna start a Google Doc. 298 00:13:57,527 --> 00:13:59,612 I'm still seeing Tori. Stephanie's out. 299 00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:02,532 August is in. If Monica sends one more gif, she's out. 300 00:14:02,907 --> 00:14:04,575 Molly's in. Jess is out. 301 00:14:04,659 --> 00:14:08,246 Hot bangs girl from the student center flossed in front of me, so she's out. 302 00:14:08,329 --> 00:14:11,291 Which one gave us the fancy candle that I light when I have dairy? 303 00:14:11,374 --> 00:14:14,502 That's Cat. Do not let her in. Yes, Kimberly? 304 00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:17,672 Anne friended me on GoodReads and I want to accept. 305 00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:18,881 Do not accept. 306 00:14:18,965 --> 00:14:20,091 I already did. 307 00:14:33,104 --> 00:14:34,522 What are you writing that's so funny? 308 00:14:34,605 --> 00:14:36,232 You really wanna know? 'Cause it's about my sex life. 309 00:14:36,315 --> 00:14:39,152 You're just gonna ask me to read it to make it funnier anyway, so� 310 00:14:39,235 --> 00:14:43,740 Okay, well, I'm writing a piece about how short kings are unexpected sex gods. 311 00:14:43,823 --> 00:14:46,242 Wow, I'm flattered. Thank you. 312 00:14:46,868 --> 00:14:50,747 I'm not talking about you. Wait, do you think you're a short king? 313 00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:52,790 Well, I'm 5'8", so maybe. 314 00:14:52,874 --> 00:14:54,500 Eric, sweetie, you're not a short king. 315 00:14:54,584 --> 00:14:57,336 You're like a nerd prince. You're like a straight twink. 316 00:14:57,420 --> 00:15:00,256 Straight twink is definitely not how I see myself. 317 00:15:00,339 --> 00:15:01,716 Short kings are thick and meaty. 318 00:15:01,799 --> 00:15:03,384 They're not guys who get pushed away by the wind. 319 00:15:03,468 --> 00:15:05,845 I got picked up by a gust of wind one time and you won't let it go. 320 00:15:05,928 --> 00:15:06,971 Who's the short king? 321 00:15:07,346 --> 00:15:08,473 Hold up. Are you jealous? 322 00:15:08,556 --> 00:15:11,017 - No. I still see other people. - Exactly. 323 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,478 Also, I think that it's not fair that you can talk about my body shape 324 00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:14,729 and I can't say anything about yours. 325 00:15:14,812 --> 00:15:16,105 Really? Well, come at me. 326 00:15:16,189 --> 00:15:18,691 Fine, you're, like, really boney. 327 00:15:18,775 --> 00:15:20,651 Like, when we have sex, our pelvises clang together. 328 00:15:20,735 --> 00:15:22,195 It sounds like someone's trying to fix an old car. 329 00:15:22,278 --> 00:15:23,946 That's because you're just as skinny as me, bro. 330 00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:25,740 Which is why it's weird that the sex is so good. 331 00:15:25,823 --> 00:15:27,784 I know. It's almost as good as with the short king. 332 00:15:31,037 --> 00:15:32,246 It's actually kinda better. 333 00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:33,831 Sorry, what was that? What was the last part? 334 00:15:33,915 --> 00:15:34,999 Shut up, you heard me. 335 00:15:35,082 --> 00:15:36,167 It's just I'm so tall 336 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,002 that it's hard to hear from up here sometimes, so� 337 00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:48,054 In Meghan's Quandary, the decision is a tough one. 338 00:15:48,805 --> 00:15:53,392 Does Meghan, penniless and starving, return to Dublin? 339 00:15:53,476 --> 00:15:56,854 Or does she pursue her dreams in America? 340 00:15:57,605 --> 00:16:01,067 And of course, there are no clear right or wrong answers. 341 00:16:01,526 --> 00:16:04,904 That being said, Meghan did return home to Ireland 342 00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:08,199 and promptly died of cholera. 343 00:16:08,282 --> 00:16:11,577 Her last words? "Why did I do it?" 344 00:16:12,286 --> 00:16:14,622 Her decision haunted her. 345 00:16:15,498 --> 00:16:16,541 Excuse me. 346 00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:20,920 It's an overwhelming story for many. 347 00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:23,297 Now let's discuss the epilogue. 348 00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:28,636 You okay? You ran out of there really fast. 349 00:16:28,719 --> 00:16:30,179 Was it a bathroom thing? 350 00:16:30,263 --> 00:16:32,974 Oh, my God. Jesus Christ, no, no. My stomach is great. 351 00:16:33,432 --> 00:16:34,642 I'm just stressed. 352 00:16:35,643 --> 00:16:36,686 Sorry. 353 00:16:37,311 --> 00:16:40,147 I don't know if I'll be able to stay here at Essex. 354 00:16:40,565 --> 00:16:41,607 Oh, shit. 355 00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:43,734 But I'm fine. I don't wanna bother you with that. 356 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,738 No, it's fine. I mean, I had to leave my college, too. 357 00:16:47,822 --> 00:16:51,075 If it wasn't for that tornado just absolutely shredding my college to pieces, 358 00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:55,579 I'd still be in Kansas with my friends, frat, my truck. 359 00:16:56,122 --> 00:16:58,457 Oh, I didn't realize you missed your old school so much. 360 00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:00,418 You seem like you'd fit in anywhere you go. 361 00:17:01,043 --> 00:17:02,795 Yeah. No, not really. 362 00:17:02,878 --> 00:17:05,840 I mean, yeah, sexually, people are pretty receptive to me here, 363 00:17:05,923 --> 00:17:08,134 but making friends is harder. 364 00:17:08,217 --> 00:17:11,595 Yeah, I feel the same way. Except sexually, it's hard for me, too. 365 00:17:12,763 --> 00:17:16,100 Look, all I'm saying is, I know that leaving a place you love sucks, 366 00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:19,020 so I really hope you don't have to go through that. 367 00:17:19,895 --> 00:17:20,938 Thanks. 368 00:17:21,772 --> 00:17:22,940 I'll see you around. 369 00:17:31,824 --> 00:17:34,452 All right, everyone, 30 minutes left on the test. 370 00:17:46,088 --> 00:17:48,007 Holy shit, that test was brutal. 371 00:17:48,090 --> 00:17:50,009 I know, but I think I did okay. 372 00:17:50,092 --> 00:17:53,179 Did I know everything? Absolutely not. But I kind of impressed myself. 373 00:17:53,262 --> 00:17:54,680 Hell yeah, you did. 374 00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:56,974 I'm not raising my voice. I'm just empathetically� 375 00:17:57,058 --> 00:17:58,184 Guys, we've discussed this. 376 00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,977 Don't listen outside our door. It's creepy. 377 00:18:00,061 --> 00:18:03,272 Leighton is in there with two other girls and it is a knock-down drag-out fight. 378 00:18:03,355 --> 00:18:05,775 I guess a girl named Molly brought Leighton some flowers. 379 00:18:05,858 --> 00:18:08,319 But then this girl named Jess showed up at the same time, 380 00:18:08,402 --> 00:18:11,697 and Molly and Jess have history, and Leighton either knew or she didn't. 381 00:18:11,781 --> 00:18:13,115 Okay. Get out of our way. 382 00:18:13,741 --> 00:18:16,285 I can't believe I brought you peonies. They're not even in season. 383 00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:18,120 And I can't believe you were dating my ex. 384 00:18:18,204 --> 00:18:19,872 Okay. I only slept with Molly once. 385 00:18:19,955 --> 00:18:20,998 So we're not together? 386 00:18:21,082 --> 00:18:22,208 No, not right now. 387 00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:24,710 Okay. I would not have bought us Phoebe Bridgers tickets 388 00:18:24,794 --> 00:18:26,045 if I knew you were seeing other people. 389 00:18:26,128 --> 00:18:28,172 Oh, Phoebe Bridgers is the shit. I'll go with you. 390 00:18:28,255 --> 00:18:32,093 Okay. I told you both, I'm newly out and I'm just� I'm taking it slow. 391 00:18:32,176 --> 00:18:33,344 Leighton? 392 00:18:34,136 --> 00:18:35,262 Cat, what are you doing here? 393 00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:37,181 I'm here to return your underwear. 394 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,849 Oh, shit. 395 00:18:38,933 --> 00:18:42,228 Oh, hey, Molly. Leighton, I didn't know you knew my ex. 396 00:18:42,895 --> 00:18:44,939 - You guys dated too? - I love this. 397 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,274 Okay. Everyone, shut up. 398 00:18:47,358 --> 00:18:49,652 Leighton can bang who she wants, this is not Bridgerton. 399 00:18:49,735 --> 00:18:51,862 Everybody out. Hustle, hustle. 400 00:18:51,946 --> 00:18:53,489 - Get out, guys. - Let's go, lesbians. Let's go. 401 00:18:53,572 --> 00:18:55,407 - And why the hell are you two here anyway? - Oh, 402 00:18:55,491 --> 00:18:57,576 excuse us for being messy bitches who love drama. 403 00:18:57,952 --> 00:19:00,120 Ooh, let's go next door and try to eavesdrop from there. 404 00:19:01,914 --> 00:19:04,917 Turns out, secretly fucking suburban moms is a whole lot easier 405 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,044 than navigating the queer community at Essex, 406 00:19:07,127 --> 00:19:08,838 where everyone has slept with everyone else. 407 00:19:08,921 --> 00:19:10,965 Okay. Be honest, are we gonna have to change our locks? 408 00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:12,216 Did you give anyone a key? 409 00:19:19,181 --> 00:19:20,391 Oh, God, here we go. 410 00:19:22,184 --> 00:19:24,728 What? But I studied my ass off. 411 00:19:24,812 --> 00:19:27,940 Holy shit, you got a 62? I got a four. 412 00:19:28,023 --> 00:19:30,943 As a reminder, today is the last day to drop this class. 413 00:19:31,402 --> 00:19:34,238 So, if you're not feeling confident, I suggest you leave. 414 00:19:35,447 --> 00:19:37,032 Whit, I'm never gonna pass this class. 415 00:19:37,116 --> 00:19:38,492 I think we should drop it while we still can. 416 00:19:40,911 --> 00:19:44,999 Look, I know we didn't do well, but I wanna stay. 417 00:19:45,082 --> 00:19:46,166 Seriously? 418 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:48,335 Yeah. I really think I can do this. 419 00:19:48,669 --> 00:19:51,171 Even though I didn't do the best, I wanna keep trying. 420 00:19:52,673 --> 00:19:55,342 Fine. Fuck it. I'll stay too. 421 00:19:55,426 --> 00:19:57,636 All right. The rest of you, let's get started. 422 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:58,846 Let's turn to page� 423 00:19:58,929 --> 00:20:01,223 Hey, hey, I know you probably weren't paying attention 424 00:20:01,307 --> 00:20:02,808 but now is your time to leave. 425 00:20:03,434 --> 00:20:04,935 Yeah, I'm staying. 426 00:20:05,394 --> 00:20:07,605 And just like an electron around a nucleus, 427 00:20:07,688 --> 00:20:09,106 I'm gonna run circles around your ass. 428 00:20:09,189 --> 00:20:10,232 Okay. 429 00:20:10,316 --> 00:20:11,358 Anyone? 430 00:20:11,859 --> 00:20:12,901 Did I get that right? 431 00:20:12,985 --> 00:20:15,112 I don't fucking know, but that was cool as hell. 432 00:20:43,015 --> 00:20:47,561 Hi. Yes. My name is Kimberly Finkle. And I wanted to apply to sell my eggs. 433 00:20:49,563 --> 00:20:54,860 Okay. The jacket is Veronica Beard, jeans are Hudson and the boots are Gucci. 434 00:21:09,374 --> 00:21:10,459 Jeez. 435 00:21:15,547 --> 00:21:19,134 Okay, Leighton, you've tested positive for Chlamydia. 436 00:21:19,218 --> 00:21:21,428 What? No. I've only been with women recently, 437 00:21:21,512 --> 00:21:23,013 so that's actually impossible. 438 00:21:23,097 --> 00:21:24,848 It's actually very possible 439 00:21:24,932 --> 00:21:27,643 and something you should contact all your recent partners about.